We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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