Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
