I am puke
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
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