Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
