38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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