The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
