Quick, to the slutcave!
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
