You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
