Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
