Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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