we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
