ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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