dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize