Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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