areolas are like halos for boobs.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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