Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
