Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I take back everything I said about communal showers
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
