Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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