Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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