You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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