the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
40s are totally the cure
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
