He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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