Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
