and you said cock pushups were impossible
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Randomize