Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
