dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
