Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
