THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I just found a bag of teeth...
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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