that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We need to rekindle our bromance
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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