Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Randomize
