Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
