he shaved USA in his pubs
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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