who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
