I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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