You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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