im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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