people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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