Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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