It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
