Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
What a dumb baby whore.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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