So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
