That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You ate ashes out of my bong
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
