I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
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