shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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