i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
