Non-Jews are for practice
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
did you just send me my own nude
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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