I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
