ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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