It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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