I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
