Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
