Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
