her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
