You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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