ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
did you just send me my own nude
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
