Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
