wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
