you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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