"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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