i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
