I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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