Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize