I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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