i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
